The Social Media Exception

I don’t know about you, but I post a wide array of things on social media; pictures of my cat, an article about at-risk children in the womb, random thoughts, an encouragement to a coworker, some favorite Lilias Trotter quotes….

Lately I have been pondering the difference between person-to-person communication and what we do on social media. In person, we’re using eye contact, other senses, reading non-verbals, and we generally build up the relationships we already have, and get acquainted with those we do not yet know. Right?

Well…. Then there’s this awkward thing about social media.

I’m currently on break from social media because it has been too hostile for me.

Though we might attempt to be winsome, respectful, listen well, and show over all kindness to those we interact with in person (even when we don’t see eye to eye), that is not a trend I most often see on Facebook.

Things I’ve observed….Need to rant about how horrible your family is? Post it in your status update on Facebook. Tired of life? Post a selfie on Instagram and tell people you need compliments. Angry with a stupid politician? Then just tweet about in in 280 characters, and you’ll definitely feel better. Bored? Scroll through Pinterest for an hour; you’ll start planning your non-existent wedding before you know it!

I appreciate that we have a way to communicate with people out of our vicinity and are able to discuss a vast array of things, but in my personal experience, social media can sometimes become a space where people will voice criticisms against one another they might put more graciously in person, react angrily whenever they disagree, take sides and shun friends, and in many cases treat others like they are less valuable if they do not agree with them.

Facebook has their cute little add where everyone smiles and shares pictures of cute babies, and it’s just such a nice little place with happiness, encouraging posts, adorable kids…

Um. Such things are posted at times, but I more regularly see frustration, disdain, disapproval, and venting on our personal opinions on everything. And it is not refreshing to our souls.

This morning, I woke up and checked social media. Before I hit the “notifications” button, I was a lot less discouraged. When I did hit it, a nice long comment of disapproval was waiting for me.

Maybe I’d have the experience with social media that Facebook describes if I wasn’t so politically incorrect…I don’t know?

It’s one thing when those who do not know Jesus get angry with us. In such cases, we know that they do not have grace for dealing with people because they are not in Christ!

It’s quite a different thing when those who profess to love and worship Jesus are quick to voice anger, unlovely comments, and try to pressure us into being different and not having the convictions that we have been given as we have pursued Him.

In the past week, I have gotten more of what one might term “flack” from other Christians and pro-life activists than entire months combined. It is exhausting.

I do not like that we use social media to pressure people. Yep, I’m the persuasive first-born type too, but our personalities do not justify ungracious choices.

Evaluating Social Media in Light of Scripture

I’ve been pondering this idea that everything the Word says about the tongue should also apply to our social media etiquette.

Life and Death are in the Power of the Tongue

“From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits” (Proverbs 18:20-21).

The words we use have the power to build others up and strengthen them, or to tear them down and hurt them. Do we think about this before we hit “post”? I’m a firm believer in sharing strong truth even if the world disagrees, but we must do so within the nature of our God. He understands all things, is the wisest of all, and yet treats us with such mercy and kindness.

I think of the verse from Jeremiah oft-quoted by Elisabeth Elliot: “The Lord appeared to him from afar, saying, ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness’” (31:3). When we speak with those who do not see eye-to-eye with us, it’s important to remember that when we were far off from Jesus--far away from capital t Truth--that He did not shun us and tell us how ridiculous we are, even though He is so worthy of our lives. He pursued us with lovingkindness! I want the way I interact with those who disagree with me to reflect the nature of heaven.

Presented with the Wisdom that is From Above

“But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace” (James 3:17-18).

This passage in James points out some serious differences between earthly wisdom and wisdom that is from above. Are these words that describe our interactions on social media?

Are our words marked by bitter envying and strife (vs.14)? James describes this kind of motive as “...earthly, sensual, and devilish” (15). In the following verse he says, “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work” (16).

Are our social media words pure, peaceable, gentle, easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy, and sown in peace? If so, I do believe social media will become quite a different place.


This morning, as I evaluated these passages, I also took time to pray and ask for an extra measure of grace for the way I interact with others on Facebook, Instagram, etc.. I want even my online demeanor to be one of grace, abundant kindness, and joy, even when we have hard conversations. Jesus is worthy of our everything; He is worthy of worship in the way I treat others.

May our interactions with one another on social media show forth His glory.

Only One Life || My High School Grad Speech

It's hard to believe that it has been over a year since I graduated high school! So much has occurred since then; Jesus has truly been so faithful to hold me fast through everything that these past few years have included. He truly is our Strength and Shield; ever and always watching over us. 

Today we are sharing the speech I gave at my high school graduation. It was an immense honor to be able to share with my class; each of us were heading in different directions, but it was the plea of my heart to every single one of them to hold fast to Jesus, regardless of the pressures around us.

As a disclaimer, I wrote this presentation before I understood hermeneutics..... And thus I failed to give context for the Scripture passage I quoted, or the condition of the promise. So, please, as usual, don't take my word for it, but be a Beren and try every feeble word of mine to THE Word. :)
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“Only one life, t’will soon be past; only what’s done for Christ will last. And when I’m dying, how happy I’ll be, if the lamp of my life was burned out for Thee.”

These words were spoken by a spectacular missionary to China, named C.T. Studd, in the 1800s, but every letter of it is applicable to us today. We are graduating. Wow, It’s starting to set in that it’s for real now, isn’t it?! 

It’s kind of like we’ve all been taking a nice walk together for the past twelve years or so, and now we’ve landed in the airport, all about to take off to different destinations. Some of us will soon be found serving kids in developing countries, others, writing notes on Calculus 2 (it won’t be me!); some of us will adventure into our own apartments, while others will take true delight in sharing a dorm with four new friends. Some of us will travel far away and cross oceans, and some of us will enjoy the cute town of Rockford longer.

But wherever we go, whatever may change, there is one thing that does not change. Or I should say, there is one Person who will not. "I the LORD do not change” (Malachi 3:6a). Most of us are about to be thrust into an environment that completely denies our Jesus. I have a friend who came from a spectacular Christian family, and had a great, bright future when he graduated from high school, going forth as a believer into an extremely liberal college. Sadly, after several years of school, this guy has decided his professors have greater credibility than our Maker. He has decided that our God isn’t as “trendy” as his twenty-something friends. I am shocked each time I see him, and I am also confronted with a question:

Will I be there in a few years?

Have you thought about this, grads? Have you watched others walk away from the foot of the Cross, wondering if you can truly stand, going against the current?

I have news for you: if you walk out of this room today in your own strength, you will definitely be taken under in the strong flow of our culture. You can’t do this. Simple as that.

But if you know you cannot do this alone, if you have come to grips with the fact that only Jesus has enough strength to carry you through, then, with a sense of your great need for your Savior, will you be able to stand. Not because you’re strong. Not because you were home schooled. Not because you grew up in a Christian family. Not because you go to church on Sunday. We can each leave this room victorious over the powers of the enemy because of Jesus! He never fails us; whenever we feel unable, it’s a great reminder that we need Him. He is always able; He is never limited by our circumstances.

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the Lord, who has compassion on you… In righteousness you will be established: Tyranny will be far from you; you will have nothing to fear. Terror will be far removed; it will not come near you. If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing; whoever attacks you will surrender to you… No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me’” (Isaiah 54:10,14-15,17).

We only have one life. Each of us. If you live to age 72, then ¼ of your life is already history. It’s already in the books.

“Lord, stamp eternity on my eyeballs!” 

Jonathan Edwards cried out. It’s a worthy cry for us as well!

When I’m dying, how happy I’ll be, if the lamp of my life was burned out for Thee, Lord. May today be a launch pad for all of us; it’s time to stand up, in His great strength, and go forward. There’s a dying world who needs Jesus out there. Let’s go, friends!

Gaining Lasting Security

It was a normal Wednesday afternoon. I was in the kitchen, cleaning up after the kids I nanny (who had just gone down for nap), when I suddenly froze and stared at the floor. It wasn’t the crushed chips and sandwich crusts that caught my attention, but a painful memory. It was as if I were reliving the moment, my mind flashed a past situation before me. On a warm Windsor day, I was looking into the eyes of a teacher whose expectations I had not met. No words had been used as I walked by the individual, but volumes were spoken to my heart. You knew better. What were you thinking? You have not met the standard of this school. I don’t care for you. Maybe you shouldn’t have come here. Would this teacher actually have said these things to me if the moment had allowed? I do not know. As my eyes glazed over the brown hardwood floors, I realized that I was allowing this past circumstance to shape me. I was letting a memory paralyze me.
I remembered the temperature of the room. How I felt. The way I wanted to disappear. Yet none of that helped me to move forward. I came to the realization that I could either continually let this memory steal all my confidence and peace whenever it came up, or I could place it in Jesus’ hands and move on. What are we to do when those around us reject us and we feel out of place? Should we cave to insecurity and give others control over our sense of worth? Praise Jesus that we never have to live like that since we are in Christ. And if we have been living in that way, He is fully able to help us to move on and place our confidence in Himself alone.

3 Thoughts on Gaining Lasting Security 

Evaluate your perspective

How do you see your circumstances? Do you believe they have the power to dictate the response of your soul? If I look at life this way, I am seeing everything out of the lens of a victim. Even if the worst has come to worst, never forget that the work Jesus accomplished at the cross on your behalf cannot ever be undone! He has been entirely Victorious over the enemy; He has set you free. And we are held in the hollow of the hands of this Victor. You are being carried at this very moment in victory! Hurt cannot undo redemption. Problems cannot undo redemption. Others disliking us cannot undo redemption. Cling to the Truth that absolutely nothing can separate us from the love of God. It’s what His Word tells us!

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, 'For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:31-39).


Don’t allow the opinions of others to make or break you

Security does not mean that everyone thinks well of us and likes us. It is very well possible that the teacher I mentioned above actually does feel that way about me, but, you know what? Others’ dislike or harshness can never change the reality of our position in Christ. The work Jesus accomplished on my behalf will never be changed by the opinions of those around me. When I sidewalk counsel, there is a pro-choice lady who I try to reach out to who regularly tells me, “I do not like you!!” Does that mean I should quit counseling and go home? Nope. Wherever Jesus has led us, we need to remember that we answer to Him for what we are doing. I will not answer to that pro-choice lady or to that missions school teacher but to Jesus. (Of course we must still respect authority, but my teacher does not have authority to change my sense of security because my security is in Jesus. I do not have to be shaken regardless of what is said because I am founded on the Rock whom no storm may ever confound).


Set your mind on the Sufficient One

Remember that life is too great a burden to carry yourself. You cannot do this alone (John 15:5). You NEED Jesus in order to thrive in the spot in which He has placed you. In our culture, the message of self-sufficiency is continually preached. “You are stronger that you think.” “You don’t need others! You’re a strong, independent woman.” But the Word of God shows us that humanity is insufficient. We could not save ourselves—we did not have what we needed to be rescued—only Jesus was strong enough to conquer sin, death and hell. Jesus, our Victor, lives in us and He is the One who has promised that His grace is sufficient for us. Preach to your soul the reality of His ability and strength in our weakness. He goes with us through every circumstance of the day. As we continue on, we will experience difficulty. The enemy loves to try to shake us up, but what’s amazing is that our Jesus does not only walk with us through the beautiful open fields of life, but also the wilderness. In seasons where we feel a regular propensity to cave to insecurity, may we then, in a new way, regularly experience His grace, which brings us to victory!
My security is not found in everyone enjoying my presence or in perfected circumstances, but solely in my Redeemer. We are free in Christ, and we may experience this liberating reality of victory most when challenges arise. The next time insecurity comes knocking, lift your soul’s vision to Jesus. And, in the words of a lovely old hymn, the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. [1]

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1. Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus by Helen Howarth Lemmel

Even So It Is Well With My Soul

This season of life has been unique. Kind of like the mornings of sidewalk counseling when the brisk, bone chilling temperatures threaten to turn you blue, when suddenly the sun peeks over the clinic for just a moment. Light exposing the shadows. Clouds moving. Darkness fleeing. Warmth growing.

If I could have written the story of my life, I would not have included the chapters of much of what 2016-2017 included. But I am not in control, and these have been, shall we say, different times of life.

"Growth of any kind demands difficulty."

My missions school teacher preached these words to my class this summer. It's a comfort in the regard. that it must imply that Jesus so desires for me to grow that when worst has come to worst, He is still my True Vine and is growing His branch. 

Between living in a broken family, my health having a hissy fit, encountering work problems, and trying to clarify plans for what's next, life has felt kind of odd. 

You know those people in your life who care but are harsh in the way they respond? (As in have to lecture you whenever they have an opinion about something you said?) We all have individuals in our lives like that; however, not every person will treat us in this manner. Yet whenever someone asks, "So how are you doing?" I am thinking about how I would prefer not to expound lest I be lectured on how I need to keep my chin up.

I'm not looking for optimism. I'm looking for Him here. In the dark. In the pain. In the brokenness. In everything that has not made sense, He is yet present. He is God and He has already overcome. This means that I have grace to push through, because He is always strong when I feel weak.

When I get to cancel my plans because my stomach is sick and tired of being a stomach. When family situations flare up and we have to sort through things. When my coworker is angry with me for being "too nice" to a resident, because she believes we should have a drill sergeant approach. When three timeouts have to be given within an hour to the same child while nannying. When a random guy yells at me outside the abortion clinic because He doesn't want to hear a single thing about Jesus.

In each of these moments and every one hereafter, He is God. He will never change. He is my Healer, my Peace, my Joy, my Discernment, and my Hope. 

When peace like a river attendeth my way

AND when sorrows like sea billows roll

At both seasons of life, He is faithful. Do I understand why some things in my life are falling apart without explanation? No. 

BUT whatever my lot

Thou has taught me to say 

"It is well with my soul."

No matter how much everything around me threatens to fall in, He will never be shaken. He is my Rock. Because of who He is and the grace He provides for me each day, each hour, and each second, I'm going to make it. Up one more mountain. Through a thousand storms. Beyond the valley.

This God of ours is able when we're just not able anymore. 

When the stress, sadness, and pressure are there under the surface, He sees. Even when no one else does. He is our only place of rest when this world has us exhausted beyond taking the next step; what good moments these are to show us how empty we are and how full and able He is. 

It's not as the world says. "You're stronger than you think!" No, I'm weaker than I think (in and of myself), but He is always strong, able, and faithful. The moment I think it's about me and anything I can do, I stop living out of heaven's resource and start living just how the enemy wants. Without abiding in the Vine. And my goodness does our strength ever run out quickly when we do not live by His grace. 

He is Here with us, and He will enable us, if we will look to Him.

An Egyptian servant woman found herself being used for the purpose of growing someone else's family. She discovered that she was expecting a baby, and the wife of her child's father treated her very harshly. Probably feeling overwhelmed and hopeless, she fled into the hot wilderness to get away. Pausing to rest at a spring of water, an angel came to her. The angel asked where she was going, to which she replied, "I am running away from my owner." 

Things were broken in her life. Pain, difficulty, and sadness were likely deeply rooted in her heart. How would this messenger from heaven respond? Tell her to get over it and move on?

No, the messenger told her to return to her owner, and gave her a promise. He shared some of God's plan for what was to come, and reminded her that the Lord had heard her affliction. He had noticed, and had not overlooked even the slave girl. She was important in His sight. She called upon the name of the Lord who was speaking to her and said, "Lord, you see me!" 

This is the only place in Scripture we see Jesus called El Roi: He sees me. (Genesis 16). 

How incredible is it that He revealed more of who He is to her at a place of brokenness in her life. What if she had never faced the troubles with Sarai and Abram? Would she ever have come to call upon Him and know Him?

As I walk through what feels like a wilderness, I want to remember Hagar, and where she was met by Jesus. 

Jesus is worthy of this. If what I'm experiencing now will cause me to need Him more desperately... If all the changes of plans work together so that He might be glorified.... If the pain, sorrow, and heartache cause me to remember that He alone is my Home, then it will be worth it all.

If He will be known better (and how He is worthy of being known and proclaimed), then I want to face whatever He has coming. When I awake to a hundred new challenges tomorrow, He will be there. He sees me; it's who He is, and He never changes. I will not be abandoned while I walk a path that seems dry and dusty. 

There is no pit so deep that His love is not deeper still // Corrie ten Boom

El Roi is with me; He dwells in me, and nothing in all creation can separate me from His love. Nothing at all. There is nothing I could face that He has not first seen; He doesn't ever abandon His children. We are always in His sight.

God wants to take our problems and turn them into building material for His miracles // Corrie ten Boom, Tramp For the Lord

He is working everything together, at this very moment, for good unto those of us who love Him. He will be glorified here, if I will obey and surrender. If I will listen and follow Him in what seems strange and unexpected from my perspective, He will accomplish His eternal purposes in and through this existence. 

And Lord, haste the day

When my faith shall be sight

The clouds be rolled back as a scroll

The trump shall resound

And the Lord shall descend 

Even so

It is well with my soul

Because He is God, tomorrow is possible. Pain may be included. Sorrows may produce silent aching. Troubles may create a strain. But if He is with me, then it is possible. He sees me, and He is here, so I may push on. He is worthy, and He alone makes it well with my soul.

Agents of Change: How Every Person Impacts the World

We live in a world today with celebrities, talk show hosts, well known news anchors, sports professionals, and touring artists; people who get up on stages and say things that others think are oh-so-profound because of their status: famous in the eyes of the world. They sell millions of books, have adoring fans that would rush up to them in the grocery store; they're deemed a voice of our generation. If Carrie Underwood buys that brand of pants, you better have them too!

All this in our culture seems to leave a sort of residue; a type of thinking that leads us to believe that only certain people change this world. If you're famous. If you're admired by many and have a million followers on Instagram. If you have loads of money. If you get a trillion views on your website.

We think these are the people who change things.

Even as Christians, I've heard it in many conversations. We think only the Christians who have the stage, the followers, the blog everyone wants to contribute to, the trendy books, and the must-hear podcasts...

"They're making a difference."

And they are, but what we often don't see is the fact that every single person who has ever lived has changed the world.

What do you mean by that, Cassidy?

James, who was aborted, changed this world. He never spoke to anyone with his voice, and his parents didn't even bother to name him, but his life touched other lives. His mom physically held him in her womb, and she chose to use her story of choosing abortion as an example for Planned Parenthood on how great abortion is. But this little boy's voice could not be silenced by the instruments of death.

James changed this world.

People have been challenged by his story. Every life is made in the image of God and is worth protecting. He didn't ever stand on a stage and have a profound speech recorded by all the news sources, but his twenty-one short weeks of existence impacted others. My life is not the same because of this sweet boy.

Perpetua was born into a wealthy family. She was expected to do great things and be of exemplary influence, but at the end of her life, her family could only shake their heads. "Why would she waste her life?" they wondered. Perpetua died a martyr around the young age of 22. According to those who had previously known her, she had just thrown her life away. Obviously, she must not have been very influential if the Roman government would just throw her to the beasts like that. Who would choose the death of a martyr with faith in Jesus, instead of burning just a pinch of incense to the emperor and living a wealthy life?

Perpetua did. And she changed the world for Jesus more powerfully than all her critics.

A young factory employee living in a poor family didn't exactly live a life that would be the next cover story for Time Magazine, but she was surrendered to Jesus. Before she knew it, she was on a ship, with a one-way ticket to Calabar, Africa. Soon, she could be found living among a fierce group of tribal people. She would rush through the dangerous jungle after a group of men and one woman--they were about to burry newborn twins alive--because the animistic views of these tribal people led them to believe that one twin in every multiple pregnancy was raised by the devil.

Mary Slessor, with her short stature and vibrant red hair, didn't look very intimidating. But she was the only advocate for these children. She rescued countless babies and brought the Gospel to some out-in-the-bush Africans.

Mary changed the world.

His mother died while he was young. His life he described to be a struggle. He had strong giftings in leadership and communication, and was bold to the core. This man came to the conclusion that only some people should be able to live in the world: Aryans. Eventually, he was given a position of power and influence and used it to promote his horrible agenda. 

Hitler was responsible for the death of millions of people (six million of whom were Jews). In a horrifying way, Hitler changed the world. The lives of all the people who died were obviously affected, not to mention their families, friends, and the rest of the world.


Everyone changes the world--everyone influences and impacts the people around them--everyone makes a difference.

The question is not: "Will we change the world?" but "how will we change the world?"

Today, your life is changing the world. What is changed by your existence? Will I or will you be one more passive human being, just wavering through life, letting the world shape our hearts and minds and telling us how to live? Or will we be some of the few who pursue Jesus with all our heart, soul, mind and strength?

Will we be the ones who push the boundary of expectation?

(Today’s general expectation is that you will do nothing more than the average).

You and I may never make history books, but if you are in Christ, then your name is in the Lamb's Book of Life. How much more world altering it is to be one who refuses to compromised by the pressures of this world, and to find delight only in gazing into the face of Jesus. If we are pursuing His agenda, things will be changed for His glory.

Even if He has called you to something that seems small, or if you're in an "in-between" season of life, He can be glorified, magnified, and made known through your existence.

We will both change the world today--we'll impact others’ lives and leave a fragrance. Will the impact be for His Kingdom? Will it be the fragrance of Christ?

How will your life change the world today? Let's push forward, being ambassadors of Christ with every step we take; in the gas station, at church, on a walk, through the long hours at work. These normal places our daily lives take us are where world-altering so often happens. Right in the home, exposing the beauty of the Gospel in an up close and personal way.

Everywhere we go.

Are we the ones who are so consumed with Jesus Christ--so in love with the Lover of our souls--that the world just cannot stay as it is? Is your life radically surrendered to Him? If so, His very life dwells in you. Jesus is the one who changes this world and brings about His eternal purpose of life. Vessels unto honor, let us not forget the impact our lives are making--and the huge responsibility that comes with--we represent the King of kings.

I don't want to change the world passively. I want my life to be a song of ardent worship to Jesus; with eyes fixed on Him and His ability. This world will be changed all the more for Jesus Christ, if we are given up fully for Him.

Do You Love Abortion Clinic Workers?

It was a cloudy November morning. As always, in a notoriously Michigan way, it was freezing outside. I drove into the parking lot of a sketchy Detroit diner, as I got ready to meet up with a friend of a friend at a local abortion clinic. I was planning on a regular day of sidewalk counseling: offering expecting women options other than abortion, post-abortive women help and hope, and hopefully reaching out to the clinic workers too.

I was new to sidewalk counseling. I had only been training for a month, and up to that point, I had only counseled at one clinic in Grand Rapids, once or twice weekly.

A sidewalk counseling friend had mentioned that there was a pro-choice activism meeting and/or protest happening the following weekend in Detroit. Knowing that the pro-choice counterpart can sometimes be a violent and harsh crowd, I asked for more details. Eventually I was given the name of a sidewalk counselor in Detroit. I looked her up on social media, expecting to ask if I could help at all with the weekend. It turned out that I had a commitment that weekend I couldn't avoid, so the lady invited me to join them the following week.

I got out of my car, thinking about all the stories and statistics my dad would tell me about Detroit since he used to work there. It can be a dangerous city, but I knew the Lord was with me. As I made the half mile walk to the clinic, I thought about what I might see in the day. I was not prepared for what was about to occur.

It seemed like a odd spot for a clinic. I turned the corner and saw at least 10 anti-abortion signs (some of which were copies of the same sign), and three people standing on a sidewalk. I approached and found the friend I had been writing to (who we'll call Anna). Anna seemed a bit stressed as she explained some facts about the clinic. It was before opening time, and some of the abortion employees were just arriving.

A nurse got out of her car, frowning in our direction. Anna called out to her in a frustrated tone of voice, trying to reprimand her for taking part in the death of a child. The woman made her way in the door, eventually returning with someone else. The employees were very on edge.

The three pro-lifers I met earlier that morning, including Anna, pelted the employees with pushy questions, apparently not noticing how their approach was only turning the two women away.

Eventually, at around ten o'clock in the morning, the abortion doctor arrived. He drove into the already quite-full parking lot in a fancy car, avoiding connection with any of us on the sidewalk.

Anna had brought a megaphone that she apparently used every time she counseled. I asked if I could talk to the doctor. Not realizing that he had not yet gotten out of his car (and probably could not hear me), I tried to tell him that I cared about him just as much as the women and the babies, and that we could help him get out of the industry.

Feeling like I said all I knew to say, I gave the megaphone back, at which point Anna began her lecture. "JAMES! You murderer! Why do you keep coming back here! You're killing babies!" She yelled, with an unfriendly, harsh expression on her face.

My jaw dropped. Did I really just hear that?! Abortion absolutely is the murder of a precious, unborn child, however, we close the door of escape from the industry when we treat these employees as if they have zero value and are stupid.

I rushed over and said, "Oh no, no, no." The doctor looked up, responding to Anna's harsh, love-less words with a straight faced, almost knowing expression. I had the impression that it was not the first time he had been screamed at by pro-lifers, particularly this group. (It’s no wonder that the police visit them so frequently).

I didn't want to be associated with that kind of behavior. "You matter to me!" I wanted to yell.

I explained to Anna how this kind of angry, you're-so-horrible approach can be so hurtful, and counterproductive. He's just going to walk right into the clinic and perform abortions, thinking that pro-lifers just hate people like him, and that we would probably be happy if he died on the spot.

 My mind went to my friend Melissa who had been training me; she was so grieved over abortion and wanted all women and babies protected, and at the same time she cared so much about the Grand Rapids clinic's employees. Urgently praying for them to be set free and to come to know Jesus, smiling at them, and sharing resources with them to help them get out of this type of work.

Upon hearing my rebuke of her anger, Anna became extremely unhappy with me. Being thirty or forty years older than me, she was not thrilled that I would suggest any kind of change. After all, what could a little trainee know? She had years of experience.

"It's not right to yell at them," I told her. Angrily, she proceeded to lecture me on a past clinic worker she treated the same dehumanizing way who apparently quit working there. It was victory in her eyes.

Had she thought about the fact that working somewhere where you get screamed at isn't very pleasant? Abortion is already a horrible industry. It's already the murder of a beautiful child; you don't have to kill others with your words in an attempt to get them to leave. I bet that clinic worker just started working at a different abortion clinic. That's not victory AT ALL. Now that individual probably has their heels digged down deeper, thinking that pro-lifers hate everyone.

She tried to rebuke me. "Cassidy, just listen to me! You need to let the Holy Spirit lead us!"

Apparently, she believed that the Holy Spirit leads us to treat people like pond scum.

When Pro-Life Outreach Isn't So Pro-Life Anymore

The little title of "pro-life" should say several big things.

God is the Giver of life, not us. We love life. Every life matters. No one is an accident. Every person--baby, teen, adult, grandma, mom, dad, etc.--is created in the image of God, and exists by His will. Because God is the Creator of every life and sovereignly plans the existence of each person, who are we to question His timing of when they come into existence and when they die?

I know I'm stepping on toes here, and I'm ok with it. Dislike me if you will, but hear this out. You cannot call yourself pro-life and continually treat abortion workers like they're worthless. You just can't.

You cannot stand there on the sidewalk telling a woman that she matters to you and that you care about her baby if you don't care also about the workers inside who were also once little babies in the womb. Your God desires that all would come to repentance [1]. He wants to redeem even the liberal, confused employees.

Don't tell me you love life if you still hate these people. I'll never believe it.

If you profess to know Jesus Christ as your Savior, then you should have the greatest desire of all people in the world for these clinic workers to be set free.

Charles Spurgeon has once said: "If sinners be damned, at least let them leap into hell over our bodies. If they will perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees. Let no one go unwarned and unprayed for."

Do you desire redemption that badly? Christians like Anna would be more likely to mockingly laugh while the lost clinic workers reach desperation. Would you stand in the gap for the abortion clinic employees too? For the sometimes pushy pro-choice protesters, will you pray? For those who are without hope and think the entirety of their existence is about them and what they think to be right and wrong, won't you show them Jesus? Who else do you expect to show love--Jesus' love--to these people than us?

Either be pro-every-life, or stop saying you're pro-life.

Would you be willing to lay down your life for these people? Jesus laid down His life for yours! Somehow we think that it wasn't as hard for our God to save us as it would be to save someone "like that."

Apart from Christ you're just like that. Your mind and heart are like that without Jesus. Your life had the same sinful potential to lead to being a worker of death; we cannot credit anything but the mercy of our God that we weren't also hands that shed innocent blood.

Jesus didn't spill one less drop of blood for you than He did for the abortion clinic workers. HE LOVES THEM, and if you don't, it might be time to search your heart to see if you really know Him, or if you really understand what it cost your Jesus to redeem you.

I want to be there with open arms the day the doctor of the Grand Rapids clinic says, "No more!" to abortion.

How expectant are we really if we don't pray for and expect these individuals to come to know Jesus. We underestimate our God's ability to redeem when we think they're too far gone. You seemed too far gone once too, and yet, if you believe in Jesus as your personal Savior, then because of Him you are secure before the Father.

You'll never deserve that.

No matter how nice, pro-life, and anti-abortion you are, you can never say you've earned your redemption. You need Jesus just as desperately as these people do; they are so valuable in His eyes that He died what is thought to be the most painful death humanly possibly. Some physicians speculate that Jesus' heart literally exploded when He died. He defeated sin, death, and hell with His very life.

Our God is always bringing about greater life as we obey Him, and I can only imagine how many people could be rescued out of the abortion industry if each of us prayed for ONE. Showed His love with one. Shared the Gospel with one. Discipled one.

He is able to redeem them; are we living like it as pro-lifers?

Jesus shed His life’s blood for them. He was forsaken for them. He suffered, bled, and died for them. Will we now lay our lives down and live out the beauty of the Gospel before these abortion clinic employees and pro-choicers?

--

*All names changed for anonymity (other than Melissa). 
1. 2 Peter 3:9, Isaiah 56:8, Ezekiel 33:11, 1 John 2:2, see this also 

When You Just Don't Feel Like One Of Those Set Apart Girls

I sat in missions class, with my ankles crossed tightly. I was tense. With my journal out on my lap and a brightly colored pen in hand, I took extensive notes on reaching people of different backgrounds with the Gospel. As I sat in the beautiful chapel that warm summer day, one thought seemed to distract me again and again.

“You know you’re really not one of those set apart girls.”

I wanted to make some mental argument against the fact, but interactions with other ladies who seemed to be living poured-out lives made me wonder if there was something unspoken that disqualified me from being “one of them.” 

I was well aware that I had not by any means arrived to some perfected level in my walk with Jesus, but was there some expectation one had to meet, other than just being in Christ, to be considered a woman intentionally set apart for the King of kings? My experiences the previous few weeks made me wonder. I had somehow come to the conclusion that the term “set apart girl” must only apply to an elite group of Christian women who live astoundingly impressive lives. 

As days had gone by at school, I had taken note that there were certain ladies who avoided me. Something I was doing seemed to create discomfort among some people; just what it was had become a mystery to me. 

I’m too talkative. No, I need to try harder to start conversations they’ll enjoy. It’s probably my non-verbals. Don’t smile too much, but don’t frown. Stop being so energetic. Don’t speak encouragement too much, or it will be translated as flattery. Wear this. Get up at such-and-such a time each morning. Don’t be legalistic. Don’t lack discipline. You’re too pushy. Let them start the conversation. Be willing to help. Be confident. Not like that! Don’t hide, but don’t act like you have it all in the bag. 

I was trying to process everything; how do I best honor those around me? I felt extremely discouraged. It seemed like I hit a wall whenever I tried to live normally. “Maybe I just don’t fit the mold.” I would think to myself.

I’ve always been one to take too careful note of how people react. I often subconsciously study facial expressions and tones of voice. What did they truly mean by that?

According to my, probably flawed, observations, I was getting on a particular teacher’s nerves. Four ladies in leadership were made to feel less than comfortable, for whatever reason, around me. Some of my classmates looked down on me.

After a conversation with a friend I had looked up to, it had become apparent that I wasn’t quite reaching the bar. In an attempt to encourage this friend, I had caused discomfort and embarrassment. I was told that I was drawing attention to the individual instead of Jesus.

Oh, a set apart girl wouldn’t do that…. 

I looked out the chapel windows and thought, “Well, I’ll be out of their hair in just a few weeks.” It seemed like the only solution. Maybe I just needed another fresh start, since I had apparently blown this opportunity to live to the fullest.

The two months that followed were two of the darkest I have ever faced in my life. I thought through everything again and again. But it all seemed to say the same thing to my heart: you failed. 

My perspective was that I was too young, too loud, too strong in personality, too rough around the edges, too childish, and too broken for the title of “Set Apart Girl.” I had a past full of heartbreak, and it appeared that I wasn’t moving past it quickly enough. Each time I thought I was “sweeping up the broken pieces” I seemed to bump into someone else, someone more set-apart-girl-esque, and spill them all over again. 

Maybe set apart girls just don’t make these kinds of mistakes.

I felt much shame. Could I still call Amy Carmichael a hero of mine if I was so far off from her place in the endless pursuit of Jesus? Maybe I should stop saying Lillias Trotter is someone I aspire to being like since I am obviously failing at Titus 2 living. Perpetua was a much more impressive eighteen-year-old than I’ve ever been…

True Set-Apart Living

Even in the darkness of feeling unlovely and entirely wrong in nearly every facet, Jesus was present and at work in my heart. Where I had decided things were too broken in my life, after taking the nonverbal that I needed to get things together, I had given up at some level. I wouldn’t have been very likely to bring it up, but I was allowing my identity to be shaped by others’ perspective on my life. If someone I looked up to found issue with something I was doing, I immediately felt I was beyond grace. 

But it wasn’t true.

In the following months, Jesus was gently uncovering my issues and healing them. I had come to the conclusion in my heart and mind that if those in the “Set Apart Girl” ministry did not approve of me, then there was no way I was actually being shaped into a Christ-centered woman. (By the way, the ladies on the SAgirl team were kind to me!)

Jesus was exposing, however, that the only way to live a life that’s pleasing to Him was to get my eyes off of what everyone around me thought, and place my eyes on Him, and believe what He says about me. Am I living for the approval and applause of others, or do I only look to Jesus for security? 

As one writer has said, 

“I live before an audience of One. Before others I have nothing to gain, nothing to prove, and nothing to lose” (Henry Martyn). 

To truly live in a set-apart way means to live fully given to Jesus. It’s to be so taken with your heavenly Prince that all else loses its luster in comparison. I wouldn’t have had to feel insecure for even a moment if I had only seen my situation out of the lens of His Word. 

They don’t approve of me? When it comes down to it, in view of eternity, that doesn’t matter very much. The psalmist in Psalm 119 had this priority: “Thou art my portion, O Lord” (vs. 57). It’s not other Christians’ opinions of us that secure us before the Father; it’s only Jesus (Romans 5:1, 6-11, Ephesians 2:1-10). We’re not saved by someone we look up to telling us that we’re doing great or vice versa. My strength and security today comes only from the One who rescued my soul. He is the one who will keep me and sanctify me, therefore I have nothing to fear. He will not forsake me; He has begun a work within me, and our Jesus never forsakes or forgets the work of his hands.

I’m making someone feel uncomfortable? What if instead of panicking that I’ve ruined my relationship with that friend, I took the position of a servant, and sought out how I could better care for them? In the second chapter of Philippians, Paul exhorted the church at Philippi to serve others the way Jesus did:

 “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (2:5-8).

Instead of hopelessly assuming the friendship is over, what if I was willing to pour out for this individual? Would I be willing to give them space if they need it, or help them out if they ask? 

Being a set apart woman is not about having it all together. It’s not about doing every single thing perfectly, never making a mistake, not having a personality, having every book of the Bible memorized, using fancier words, cooking like Martha Stewart, always being out of your bed by three o’clock in the morning, or being a carbon copy of an impressive Christian you know. 

It’s legalism to assume that we are somehow earning greater favor in Jesus’ eyes by having all our i’s dotted and t’s crossed. Jesus would not have had to die if we could gain acceptance on our own before God. I am safe and unshaken in my daily life, not because Cassidy is just looking oh-so-spiritual this morning, but because Jesus has taken my place. He is unchanging. No matter what happens to me, and no matter how many areas of my life still need greater sanctification, I will never ever, ever be abandoned. 

My identity is not in my mistakes and mishaps.

My identity is in Christ alone.

Since I am in Christ, I know that He has set me apart for Himself (Psalm 4:3). I did not receive this title of set apart by saving up my behavioral allowance; it is a gift to me from Jesus. He lived the set-apart life, and because my position is in Him, I am robed in His righteousness (Isaiah 61:10). I have grace, the power to live out the life He has called me to, only through Him. It’s not in my own pockets. 

If you, as a woman, believe in Jesus Christ as your Savior, then you are a set-apart girl. All because of Jesus (and not because of you). 

“Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me. He has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. And so I walk in the Lord’s presence as I live here on earth!” (Psalm 116:7-9).