Kindness as an Act of Rebellion

 Several years ago, when I was nineteen, I started my very first hospital job. To say I was excited would be an understatement — I was boundlessly enthusiastic about the opportunity. I imagined life and death scenarios where my resuscitation training would be utilized and I would contribute to a high-performing, life-saving team. I wasn't sure exactly what I would experience on the unit each day, but one thing was certain — I was going to have a chance to impact patients' lives.

What I had absolutely no idea might happen was encountering workplace cliques and culture struggles. I started orientation and learned new skills and knowledge; soon enough, training was done, and I was on my own. I realized quickly that I was on the "out" with the cool people and had a hard time making friends. Who was in my corner? I wasn't sure. 

I frequently witnessed aggressive behavior from staff to staff. Listening in to the banter at the nurse's station often resulted in overhearing malicious gossip and even straight-up slander against coworkers, management, and patients alike. People were harshly confronted for small, unintentional mistakes. One afternoon, a manager yelled at a fellow nursing assistant in front of staff and patients for a minor mishap, reducing her to pain and tears. 

I couldn't put it into words then, but I was daily experiencing a lack of psychological safety at work. Still being my idealistic self, I believed there must be good somewhere in this corporation. I was paid to attend workplace culture training — it was refreshing. The only problem was that most concepts related to healthy culture were completely absent in the unit. How could one lone nursing assistant change this drastic, long-standing problem? Why had I been sent to this class? Wasn't this a thing for management?

Several months passed, and I still did not feel comfortable at work, so I sought an internal transfer. I attempted to explain as professionally as possible to human resources that I felt another specialty would be better suited to my skills — hinting that I may have to find employment elsewhere if they did not have any other openings.

Despite attempts to apply for internal transfer, nothing happened, and I was continually face-to-face with an environment where cliques flourished, disrespect was prevalent, cattiness was the chosen form of communication, and all actions of kindness and care were seen as naive flaws.

Eventually, I moved on to a different corporation, but I have never forgotten the impact those people made on me, who behaved as if cruelty and gossip were strategic actions necessary for professional success.

The things I witnessed at that organization caused me to turn to Scripture. 

Were these professionals correct that kindness is only for people who are dumb and inexperienced? Is it a sign someone is less shrewd if they love genuinely? Are people who reach out to others simply naive and uncool?

My study of God's Word made me dig my heels in deeper to my belief that being passionate about expressing kindness reflects our Lord Jesus, and is not a sign of stupidity.

Kindness became my act of rebellion.

Maybe the only way to become a member of that workplace clique was to be harsh and hateful. People who care genuinely are not welcome. If that's the case, wouldn't it be an honor to be an outsider? What a blessing not to fit in somewhere that requires you to cause others psychological harm to be considered a member of the group.

People will do unconscionable things in social groups that they would have never imagined doing on their own. Sometimes the power of the crowd drives people to act thoughtlessly. Scripture reminds us of this.

“Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong. When you give testimony in a lawsuit, do not pervert justice by siding with the crowd" (Exodus 23:2).

God is able to give each of us sufficient courage to be a presence of real love in nasty places. Do not follow crowds enraptured by fame and power that will one day fade away with this world. You can't take your popularity and your clique with you to heaven. But every soul will stand before God and give an account to Him for the life they have lived (see Rom. 14:12). So make choices you can own with all your heart — don't be fake and harmful. Instead, pray that God will transform you so deeply that you desire to show mercy and love to others.

A person who delights to see others suffer is not exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit. 

"Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires" (Galatians 5:19-24).

In this passage, the word for kindness is chréstotés, which means gentleness, goodness, and usefulness. Help's Word Studies describes it this way:

"5544 /xrēstótēs ("useful kindness") refers to meeting real needs, in God's way, in His timing (fashion). Hence 5544 (xrēstótēs) is listed as a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal 5:22). With the believer, 5544 /xrēstótēs ("divine kindness") is the Spirit-produced goodness which meets the need and avoids human harshness (cruelty). "We have no term that quite carries this notion of kind and good" (WP, 1, 92)."

If the social norm is nastiness where you spend your time, may you be the most profound misfit that environment has ever seen. May God give you grace to overcome evil with good (see Romans 12:21).

One person who became known for abnormal kindness was Rachel Joy Scott. A student of Columbine High School, Rachel noticed that people who had special needs, were new, or were outcasts in some other way, were rarely shown love. She resolved to go out of her way to care for them. She once said: 

“Compassion is the greatest form of love humans have to offer. I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go.”

On April 20, 1999, Rachel was confronted by fellow student Eric Harris, who allegedly asked if she believed in God. When Rachel confirmed that she did, she was shot to death in the high school at just seventeen years of age. She became a Christian martyr who loved not her life unto death.

What was said of Rachel in the days after her death? She was incredibly kind to all who God placed in her path and genuinely lived out her faith, even though it was unpopular at Columbine. Rachel didn't know it then, but the childhood dream she had of being a missionary had come true — not in a foreign country with special training. Instead, she created a ministry with an impact that was more powerful than many organized missions with significant funding. Her life was the message — and her words were more powerful because of the way she lived it out every day.

What will people say about you when the day comes for you to depart from this world?

Will you be known for your popularity, trendiness, and coldness towards those not deemed good enough for the social group you belong to? Or will you be known as a genuine believer who — by the work of the Holy Spirit living in you — exhibited powerful kindness that led others to repentance and a meaningful relationship with God?

Being mean may feel like the armor that protects you from other people's harm, but sooner or later, those who are nasty will reap the harvest of their behavior, just like Scripture says. 

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows" (Galatians 6:7).

What is cool on earth isn't cool in heaven. May God give you grace to live in light of eternity — you were made to dwell forever in the presence of God. In heaven, grace, love, mercy, and kindness will be the ways of the crowd. Live in alignment with that social group, instead of allowing your character to rot to fit in with people who have an eye for everything that is passing away with this world. Sow kindness, and point to Jesus. On earth — where nastiness can become the norm — may you be a rebel; someone who is being conformed day by day to the image of Jesus the Son.

He will always give you enough strength to live like Him in the hardest places.

"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil" (Luke 6:35).