13 Lessons From My Twenties

 I’m in my late twenties now (soooo old). Here are a few things I have either learned or am thankful for in the last few years. In some of these, I’ll keep it short; in others, I’ll go on and on. Feel free to sift through and find what interests you.

1. God's Love Changes Everything


We are all so deeply loved by God. His heart goes out to you in whatever you face. There is no care of your heart that He considers to be insignificant. When Scripture tells us to pour out our hearts to God, it’s not for an empty practice. It’s because our Father in Heaven really is that intensely caring and genuinely loving. He is present in every moment of your life, and every challenge you ever face is something He sees with the love of a compassionate Father.




2. Grow in Discernment


Discerning the true character of the people around you is an important skill that you will need in order to have healthy relationships of any kind (friends, acquaintances, significant others, family members). One of the greatest tests of a person’s character is seeing how they treat people who have nothing to offer them. Also observe for the presence of cruelty. Cruelty is the height of human weakness. People who are low on compassion, self-control, emotional regulation, emotional intelligence, and integrity are willing to cause psychological harm to others through cruelty. They have justifications for this behavior in their brain called "narcissistic defense mechanisms” that convince them the recipient deserves the aggressive way they are treating them. These people are not your people.




3. You Need Courage

I’ve heard it said by others that courage is the virtue that unlocks the other virtues. For example, if you want to emulate the justice of God and want to grow in that aspect of your character, but lack the courage to speak up for people who cannot speak for themselves, you’ll be left at square one in your growth. If you want to become more encouraging to others, but lack the courage to tell them anything that builds them up, you will not have grown. If you want to grow in controlling your tongue, but lack the courage to apologize when you say something you should not have, then unfortunately the transformation will not take place. What if part of the growth of our character requires that we become braver in the ways we once most feared? God is able to grant you His courage if you are willing to be changed to become more like Him.




4. Mental Health and Physical Health Work Together

Your physical and mental health are deeply connected to each other. I’ve always prided myself in being non-athletic. Hearing my little brothers tell me about how they did laps in 90 degree weather for their baseball team sounded like torture. Why would anyone willingly do that?! Well, I’m still not running laps in the burning sun, but with age I have had to realize that my doctor lecturing me to exercise isn’t them “checking a box” on things to talk with me about. Much of the health of our bodies and minds depends on the self-discipline of exercise. Now, no one said it needs to be impressive. I still hate athleticism because dripping with sweat on a field will never appeal to me, but I did have to change my practices in order to be healthy. I’ll never want to be a pro athlete, but you will find me regularly working out and reaping the mental and physical benefits. Take it from a hater: working out actually can change your life and increase your quality of life.

5. Peer Pressure and Group Dynamics Can Change You For The Worse, No Matter Who You Are


Did you know group dynamics can change you? The people who surround you will either help you become healthier and better as a person, or they can literally corrupt your character. I observed this in a group a few years ago. People who would have professed to be Christians behaved together in undermining, aggression, bullying, and targeted unkindness. Each member of this group would not have had the nerve to act this way alone. Something about the power of the group dynamic caused them to believe hurting people around them was, in fact, ethical. You have to be aware of how the people around you are changing you. I have seen Christian women engage in sadistic behavior toward each other because of the power of the group. Do you want your character to be corrupted in this way? Or do you want to be a person of integrity? Integrity and kindness require the willingness to stand alone when the group has decided to behave in a completely opposite way. Without the courage to stand by yourself — refusing to bow to the influence of peer pressure — you will make the same bad choices of the most unethical groups. May God give you extraordinary integrity and a form of boldness that is both kind and uncompromising no matter the cost. May you be like Rachel Joy Scott — someone whose faith changes the way you engage in the group dynamic — willing to die if necessary for Truth that is eternal, even when the group has told you you are not allowed to think that way.

6. Cognitive Strength


You absolutely will be deceived by deceptive people unless you are cognitively strong. For example, a common tactic of abusive people is gaslighting. Gaslighting is not a genuine attempt to work out a disagreement you and another person may have. Gaslighting says, “You aren’t capable of thinking correctly; let me think for you.” It is a power grab. Unfortunately, people who engage in this behavior must have missed week one of anatomy and physiology class, where they teach that form fits function. God gave you your own separate brain from others. Your neck isn’t connected to someone else’s brain. So they need to make the effort to convince you with real logic, not gaslighting, if they want to change how you think. If you were supposed to mindlessly think with their conclusions while oppressing all of your own thoughts, God would have physically connected you to their head. The form of the human body tells us something about God’s design and God’s purposes (yes, shout out to Theology of the Body). Part of reflecting the Image of God is that we each have our own separate thinking machines. The ethical way to change another person’s mind is to present logical arguments with respect. But a gaslighter says, “You remember that wrong.” “You always make things up.” “You’re crazy.” “No one else thinks that.” “You’re making up stories, and my version of events is the correct one.” Will you choose to be voluntarily oppressed by gaslighting? Or will you be cognitively strong and hold fast to conclusions that may be both truthful and a threat to a manipulator?

7. When People Don't Make Good Faith Attempts to Work With You

Chronic invalidation is a known cause of mental illness. If you want to be mentally ill, willingly submit yourself to the previously mentioned gaslighter.

8. God's Calling For You Is Not About You

What if God is calling you to do something and it’s not about you? God put it on my heart this year to start the Embryo Advocates podcast. I was scared. Why am I doing this? What if I can’t do this? But I had already interviewed an incredible person with a powerful pro-life story. It was time to launch it and share it with whoever God wants it to reach. I lay in bed one night with lots of fear: “But what about the harsh judgments made against me?” I recalled a time a pro-life activist told an entire group of people that I came off as "awkward" in a professionally made video that several other people and I appeared in. Would I allow that person’s judgment and group humiliation of me to stop me from taking this step I believed God was calling me to? God challenged me. He brought to mind someone whose “podcast” I loved — Elisabeth Elliot. I didn't start listening to Gateway to Joy until Elisabeth Elliot was towards the end of her life and had dementia. There’s no way she ever knew I was blessed by her radio show. She will never see the “view or listen count” that includes me, even though I was an avid listener. Much of the impact she made on me was after she had dementia, and may not have been able to understand how much she was influencing me. What if it’s the same with me and you? What if God is calling us to do things that aren’t about us? What if the Embryo Advocates podcast is not about me? What if it is about helping people who may not even be blessed by this knowledge until I’m old with dementia or have even passed away? You won’t know until heaven who God wants to reach through your life. So you can allow insecure people who give non-constructive criticisms about supposed "awkwardness" to stop you, or you can believe in the grace and strength of God to do whatever He wants in and through your one short life. What if God has planned to make an impact through you and you will never fully know about it on this side of heaven?

9. Have High Standards in Dating

For women in particular — you have to never settle when you are dating. Consider the behavior of the person you are dating. Do you want your 3-year-old child to be treated that way by him someday? If not, then why are you still dating him? His incapacity to treat you or others well will come back to bite you soon. A few years ago, I had a lengthy discussion with a girl whose fiancé had a very severe addiction that he was not having treated. We talked about the fact that it’s not likely he will seek healing after marriage since he doesn’t see much of a problem with his behavior before marriage. I don’t know why women sometimes live in a dream world where we believe our love is some kind of rehabilitation hospital for bad behavior or addiction. It isn’t. May I say something that will sting? If you always date men who need you to save them — which parent or caregiver from your childhood are you still trying to save? Psychologists have found that people will usually return to the dysfunctional behavior that feels normal instead of going for relationships that are healthy — because this health may feel foreign. If you want to recreate all the wounds of your family of origin, keep settling. If you want your children to someday suffer the same preventable ways you did as a kid, keep dating people who emulate the dysfunction you came from. But if you have the courage to dream of healing, transformation, and change for your family tree, you absolutely have to never settle. Do your future children deserve better than this guy you are dating? Then it’s time for a breakup. (When I say “deserve better,” this is not about money or material things; it is particularly about the character that makes up the person you are dating. And if women were honest, some men will date us and have tons of resources and yet possess the worst form of poverty possible — empty character and a will to hurt others).

10. Is It Ok For Christians to Go To Mental Health Therapy?

This is a controversial one. Brace yourself. Mental health therapy is not anti-Christian. Getting to the bottom of personal wounds — mentally, emotionally, and spiritually — will make you stronger on every level. I once talked with someone who believed mental health therapy is unacceptable and the only good form of support is Biblical counseling. How did this person believe Biblical counseling should be carried out? You would meet with a person, hear their struggles, then aggressively reprimand them that “they are not caring enough about God’s glory.” I’m sure that’s not how all Biblical counselors operate — this might be a behavior most Biblical counselors would disown. But I want to point out here that, for some reason in Christian circles we have something against mercy and compassion (even though the Lord Jesus Himself is Mercy and Compassion to the degree of perfection).


We seem to fear validation. If we validate another person’s suffering, we believe that somehow we are “softening” people in a bad way. I was once counseled at age seventeen by a person who practiced a lot of Biblical counseling theories. I mentioned that my parents had just gotten separated and that I was struggling with depression as a result. This person was not able to hold space for any negative emotions I felt. It was almost like my negative emotions in a very grievous situation were seen as “unspiritual” or anti-Christian — which is bizarre because Christianity is very pro-marriage, so we should also be pro-grieving broken families when that tragically takes place.


It took years to understand what happened with the woman who counseled me in a shame-based way — trying to guilt me into not feeling negative emotions. She did not have a healthy understanding of emotions — that part of being made in God’s Image means we have emotions. Emotions are not just some kind of harmful effect of the fall of man. In a perfect world with no sin or suffering, we would have emotions — because they are a part of how God designed us.


Hating yourself or feeling shame because you feel a negative emotion will not heal you — it will increase your suffering and dig a deeper hole for depression. Earlier this year, I read a brilliant book called “Validation” by Caroline Fleck (as a note, I strongly disagree with some parts of it, but it is generally a helpful resource). She talks about how she treats extremely dysfunctional behavior in her practice as a psychologist. Fleck explains that “Validation does not equal agreement.” In other words, we can validate that someone’s suffering is very real even if we don’t agree with every word they say.


For example, if I were a doctor working in a hospital, I could validate that my patient’s withdrawal from smoking is very difficult. I could validate my patient’s emotions — it is really hard to go without smoking when you have a chemical dependence on this substance that is harming your body. This can be coupled with continued encouragement to cease smoking. We don’t have to be as brutal as possible when we want others to change their behavior or when we wish their emotional states were different.


If someone around you has negative emotions or is deeply suffering, I’ll give you a 100% chance they do not need an aggressive reprimand. Jesus actually tells us in Scripture that He loves those who are poor in spirit — He does not say to punish them for feeling that way. Some Christians are very low in emotional intelligence. There is a way to make space for other people’s suffering and negative emotions without “encouraging” sin.


I can recognize that my confused patient is about to fall on the floor and not treat them harshly even though they are doing something wrong. Yelling at them won’t help. Telling them they should know better won’t help. Being unkind won’t help. Expressing the problem compassionately will, though. “Bob, I’m worried you might fall on the floor because your legs are a bit unsteady after surgery. Can I help you take a seat on your bed, and we can see about getting you up in a moment when I can get more people to help us?”


The truth is, it’s impossible to effectively show mercy to others unless we regulate our own emotions. So perhaps those who most fail to show us kindness and care are telling us in their own way that they may have emotional problems they prefer to remain unaware of.


The truth is, self-awareness can be painful sometimes. Those of us who seek mental health have to be willing to be self-aware and really see what is going on “underneath the hood.” For some reason, there is a sect of Christianity that encourages extreme suppression of all negative emotions. I do believe this is part of what leads to unexpected suicide attempts of church members. They weren’t allowed to say they weren’t feeling ok without being shamed for it, so they continued to feel worse and worse until they acted on it.


It doesn’t have to be this way, though. I think we can change our view on emotions and mental health to recognize that God cares about every single thing we suffer and that He meets those who are poor in spirit with mercy instead of disdain. Understanding God’s character as the Great Physician helps us become more compassionate ourselves. I challenge you to take stock of your own emotional state — are you an emotionally healthy person, or do you engage in self-shaming when you feel negative emotions? It is entirely possible to be a strong Christian who believes fiercely in eternal truth — even when the Truth differs from our emotions — without engaging in self-gaslighting. What if your sad emotions are valid AND we can also know that in our losses God has eternal purposes and that His plans for us are better than our plans for ourselves? What if both views are possible simultaneously? Can we sit with paradoxical realities?

11. The Impact of Leaders in Our Lives

It has been said by others that “power shows the man.” Power doesn’t have to be inherently corrupting — what it really is is a magnifying glass on a person’s character. If a person is a bully, then they are promoted to manager at a job, they’ll be a bully of a manager. If a person genuinely loves God and is striving to do all things to glorify Him, they’ll be proven in leadership positions to be interested in the well-being of others.


We have all probably had the experience at some point in our lives of being subjected to unhealthy leadership — it can be deeply damaging. It’s important to realize that God created the concept and structure of leadership. God’s original idea of leadership is not the problem when we are subjected to, what may be evil authorities. God created the office of authority (mothers, fathers, managers, executives, teachers, trainers, coaches, pastors, etc.), but that does not mean everyone given one of these positions is capable of handling that role well. God doesn’t want anyone to be abused by bad leaders — in the home, at work, in relationships, etc. Relational aggression is a sign of the absence of a real relationship with God in the private life of that person.

Truly great leaders do not always have formal titles. Maybe that person has never been a CEO, but there is something about them that is inspiring. This is the concept of natural leadership — not a person who is trying to grab power and control other people, but someone who cares for those around them in such an extraordinary way that they change those around them. It’s been said by Simon Sinek, “Leadership is not about being in charge. It’s about taking care of those in your charge.” So only God Himself and those in our care can determine the quality of our leadership. Our “intention” to do something good isn’t going to matter very much to someone who feels deep harm from our behavior. Strong leaders are strong on the trait of humility. They can own it when they mess up. They point out their own mistakes and are willing to tell the team they deserve better. I work with a leader like this. When a mistake from a leader was noted, it was announced. I thought about how I felt after this happened. Automatically, without any conscious thought, this leader increased my trust in them because of their honesty and willingness to equally apply the rules to everyone — including themself. I wanted to follow this person more and do more work with them because of that gentle, humble, but also confident way of acknowledging a problem, not making a big deal of it, and just fixing it. May God surround you with leaders like that one — self-aware, kind, and servant-hearted.

God Himself is the model of healthy leadership. Think about His vastness. He is kind, merciful, compassionate, courageous, strong, omniscient, discerning, truthful, wise, and the Leader of Heaven’s Armies. The qualities we may associate with leadership — being in charge, correcting people, giving feedback — are quite a limited picture. God doesn’t just correct us; He also encourages us and builds us up. God doesn’t just proclaim the Truth; He also generously provides the grace and support we need to live out His truth.

Healthy leadership is vast like this. It’s not just “authoritative” in the typical sense — it is highly relational.

12. The Dark Side of Jobs in the Pro-Life Movement

One secret of the pro-life movement that most people do not know is that many of the people who regularly work part- or full-time as advocates hold philosophies about injustice that cause them to be poor stewards of themselves. For a few years, I was a support-raised pro-life activist. Something I realized towards the end of my time in that role was how much my health had worsened while being a paid advocate. There are certain views held by some anti-abortion activists that can cause them to feel like the sun will only rise and fall if they make it happen. Some pro-life organizations have executives that coerce lower-ranking staff to burn the candle at both ends — retaliating against them for using well-deserved PTO or sick days. This high-pressure environment does not lead to more babies saved from abortion — or at least not as many as they believe they are rescuing. When anti-abortion activists are harried and overworked — holding an invisible weight of rescuing the world from oppression — they inadvertently harm people on their same side. Poorly rested staff will snap at each other more. People who work around the clock with anxious urgency probably aren’t taking the time to make healthy meals and exercise sufficiently — leading to preventable health problems and poor self-stewardship, which God will hold us accountable for.


Some activists urge all people to quit their day job and become a support-raised pro-life missionary. I have seen behind the curtain, and it is often not all that is promised. And you can make a difference for the unborn without being a regular staff member of the movement. It doesn’t make you an “outsider” of the pro-life movement to have a job outside it. For example, the pro-abortion movement frequently depends on the field of obstetrics and gynecology to promote its talking points (though they twist medicine to make their propaganda). They depend on professional fundraisers to keep their doors open. They heavily utilize law professionals because many abortion clinics carry out illegal actions and need legal representation. They never tell consultant medical professionals, fundraisers, or attorneys that they are “less essential” to their work because they have developed disciplines outside abortion.


Certain individuals in the pro-life movement, on the other hand, seem to hold a guilt- or shame-based view that the only way to be an ethical person in a society with legal abortion is to work full-time doing advocacy against it. It certainly is essential that some people work full-time to fight against abortion — I’m thinking of the amazing people who run pregnancy centers, provide free medical services for women facing unplanned pregnancies, or people like my friend Virginia who helps change people’s minds on abortion through engaging them with the truth about life in the womb. I could name a hundred more examples because, at this stage, the pro-life movement is exceedingly complex. It has taken a long time to develop this level of intellectual and philosophical depth — it is impressive.


The need is there to have some people who devote their careers to the pro-life movement. But where I will push back against it is when we gaslight people into believing they must endure unhealthy workplace cultures because abortion is such a pressing issue. Advocating for the unborn is extremely important, but I would argue to you that if you’re working somewhere that is destroying your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being, it’s time to walk away.


You can try to talk with people at the pro-life organization if the environment is negatively impacting you, but I have learned from experience that in unhealthy workplaces, sometimes certain people are targeted — shown more aggression and more non-constructive negative feedback than other employees. When this happens, it’s not likely that a simple conversation about the negative ways the workplace or manager are impacting you will actually produce any change.


In organizational psychology, they call it “scapegoating” when a manager or executive always has one problem child staff member to whom they assign all blame and treat more poorly than other staff. You can’t fix an environment that handles its pressures by shifting blame. If there always has to be a scapegoat, you are in an unethical workplace. Even if this is well concealed from the view of outsiders. Public relations can be powerful — by using a polished narrative and creating talking points, unethical leaders can cover up their wrongdoing in convincing ways. Kind of like a good concealer — you don’t have acne! Your concealer perfectly covers over it with a thick layer of makeup. An unethical use of public relations in the pro-life movement works the exact same way. By developing a narrative about unclear departures from the organization and repeating talking points with passionate fervor, sooner or later, people begin to believe everything is just smooth sailing.


Underneath, in some anti-abortion organizations, young staff members are experiencing psychologically dark behavior from older executives or managers. These workplace leaders know that if this behavior was done in writing, they would be fired. So they make sure to harm you via phone calls or undocumented work meetings that produce fear-based compliance and destroy psychological safety. When that young employee goes to speak up about the harm they are enduring, they find the unhealthy leader was already quietly conniving against them by creating a thorough paper trail to assassinate the character of the lower-ranking staff member. They’ve been taking notes about every mistake you’ve ever made while aggressively covering up anything wrong they have done.


No worker on this planet deserves to be subjected to these dark psychological games. You deserve better than any workplace that justifies harming you. Please walk away if you are being subjected to cruel behavior, even if the organization supposedly stands for something really important. You being alive is also really important. You can be a contributor to the pro-life movement — a fighter against the killing of valuable preborn children — without taking on either of the two dysfunctions we have discussed. First, you don’t have to live like the world rises or falls on you — God holds the world in His hands, not you. God is the best advocate for the unborn, not you. Those truths remind us to follow Him and that He carries the weight, not us. Second, God will not bless a workplace built on lies and harming their own staff. It’s ok to leave a pro-life organization if they believe it’s acceptable to harm you. May God give you the courage to do it, and may you absolutely flourish in all of your personal and professional strengths upon your departure.




13. Exclusive Cliques are Anti-Christian


Cliques are created through insecurity and fear. True strength of character lends itself to expressing Christ’s life-changing compassion and mercy to those around us, whomever they may be.


Genuine love for others comes from a heart that has been regenerated by the power of the Holy Spirit. Knowing God and having a real relationship with Him leads to loving those around us differently — not in a way that is self-seeking, but in a way that has legitimate concern for the well-being of those around us. It would be an interesting study…how many people in the world who developed anxiety, depression, and/or suicidal thoughts at some time in their life were pushed that direction at least in part by the lack of kindness of those around them? This is not the only cause of mental distress, of course, but bullying is a documented cause of psychological harm. Interestingly, it’s not just unbelievers who can become cliquey and relationally aggressive towards those around them. Christian churches, workplaces, small groups, etc. can all sometimes develop this quality of clique behavior, and sometimes bullying as well. We can be completely certain that it is not a fruit of the Holy Spirit living inside a person when that individual pursues the top of the social hierarchy at any cost — including at the cost of deeply damaging those around them.


The mean girls should really be called the alone girls. Because they are either alone as a result of their aggressive behavior, or are surrounded by people whom they have effectively silenced and controlled. Having a real walk with God leads people to care genuinely and selflessly about those around them. A person who professes the Christian faith while engaging in relational aggression may be deceiving themselves. Christ Himself always sought out the people society had rejected — even the people Christians of the day had deemed socially unacceptable. This was not an endorsement of their sin, but a powerful sign that God’s love and His mercy comes to meet everyone who will receive Him. To know Jesus causes us to break up with our sin through the process of sanctification. However, women who engage in cliquey or aggressive behavior towards those around them are not exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit. They do risk being told what Jesus said to people who believed they did everything in His name: “Depart from me. I never knew you.”

Conclusion  

If you apply yourself and pay attention to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, your twenties can be a great period of growth in your life. Don't live your young years merely for self-serving purposes; ask God to help you to desire to serve Him most of all. God made you and invented you with particular purposes in mind. Pray that He would conform you to the image of His Son and that you would courageously and joyfully live out all the plans God has for you. It may not always look the way we expected, but when we yield ourselves to Christ, He gives us day-to-day lives that include opportunities to bear fruit in ways that will matter for all eternity. Even if it may appear small to us in the moment.

Year 26 of Life: You Will Know Them By Their Fruit

I am so thankful that every year of life is a fresh start — a brand new season in which God is going before me. He has plans and purposes for me in every trip around the sun — and, the truth is, I don’t know exactly what each year will look like. I am a first-born girl, and one natural weakness first-born girls have is that we tend to somewhat rigidly plan things. (It could be a strength or a weakness depending on the situation). God reminds His strong-willed daughters that He is in control — and that He is abundantly trustworthy and capable as He carries out this role in the universe. Not one detail of our lives is outside His control. My plan may not always materialize because His purposes are more powerful and more important.


Honestly, in some ways, critical care reminds me of the extraordinary sway God holds over all things. When a patient is critically ill in the hospital, they are cared for by a special doctor called an “Intensivist.” The Intensivist very closely monitors a patient’s vital signs, lab values, and overall condition. They might enter a patient room and manually change the patient’s breathing machine — instructing the machine on how many breaths per minute the patient should breathe. The Intensivist is detailed and deeply involved in the care of each of their patients. Typically speaking, no doctor goes to greater depth of monitoring and understanding the internal state of their patient — manually deciding the number of respirations per minute the patient will breathe when intubated or continuously checking the patient’s blood pressure every second through the technology of an arterial line. It is fascinating.


Aren’t there so many parallels to God’s care for each of us? I may not currently be intubated on a breathing machine, but God is directing my every breath. He is ensuring my heart continues to pump blood another day. He monitors my blood pressure literally every second, but he doesn't need an art line to do it. He holds every detail of my life in His capable hands — not just the details of my body, sorting out my respirations or cellular activity, but in the vastest sense, He holds sway over everything.


It was in this spirit, considering that God is the “Intensivist of the universe,” that I started off year 26 with a prayer. “Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for a new year of life — I’m on to year 26. May I truly glorify you in all things this year. In school, at work, at home, with friends…wherever I am, may I be using year 26 to honor you.”

An Exercise for Growing In Your Understanding of Your Worth

As you may recall from the blog post on year 25, I’m always seeking to learn more about mental health and relationships. This led me to watch a podcast interview of Dr. William Sears — pediatrician and parenting expert — a few days after my 26th birthday. He talked about how he and his wife raised their kids to have certainty about their value — knowing they were each created uniquely by God with love and purpose. Dr. Sears and his wife used this exercise to help their children grow in self-awareness and in knowing their worth.


“Ask your child, ‘What are five things you like about yourself?’”


In a culture with abundant struggles with worthlessness and suicidality, you can see how this exercise has the opposite effect. We each have weaknesses and aspects of ourselves that need growth, but if we never take the time to consider any of our strengths or to become aware of natural capabilities we have, it can harm not only the way we see ourselves, but also may stop us from ministering to others in ways God may want us to. There is value in answering Dr. Sears' question for yourself. Knowing that God made you intentionally and for a purpose — what are five things you like about yourself? What if God creating you and valuing you is enough even if those around you fail to see these strengths and gifts?


Women in today’s world seem to crave external validation. This can be seen in a million ways — one of the most obvious being the sometimes scandalous way women present themselves online. Part of what drives this behavior is insecurity and a lack of clarity on their identity.


By answering Dr. Sears’ question and reflecting on how God may want us to use our gifts to serve those around us, we can be freed from low-dignity living. Having a personal walk with God and regularly reading Scripture and praying provides a foundation for our value that has nothing to do with how others perceive us. Only by developing a strong sense of who we are in Christ and by having clarity on our identity can we be healthy people in the world. Many of the most troubling dysfunctions in the modern era of narcissism, cliquey behavior, and a lack of critical thinking can be traced back to that failure of formation.


What are a few of your strengths? What are your spiritual gifts? And what if becoming aware of these gifts is not about you? When we have some clarity about how God has prepared us to minister to other people by the power of the Holy Spirit, we start to spend our time and invest our resources differently — with more effectiveness.


How about some of those natural weaknesses? Maybe God made you a very naturally organized person, but you struggle to be flexible. The Lord may be leading you to work on that lack of flexibility.


The journey of growing to know our worth in God and becoming self-aware about our strengths and weaknesses helps us to serve the Lord and those around us better. For example, have you ever interacted with a person who was not self-aware that they are quite harsh with others? Their lack of self-awareness also makes it difficult to talk with them about any negative impact they may have on you because they refuse to be honest with themselves about that opposite trait they are low on — gentleness. When we have the right combination of humility and selfless confidence, we are able to be real with ourselves that until we get to heaven, we will have more room for specific growth. If we want to honor God with the limited time we have on earth, it’s a good thing to become more self-aware and more specific about ways we can grow, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to become more like our perfect Savior.

Following God’s Call After Others Have Tried to Stop You

It seems like the right order of events that God led me to take that time to reflect on how He made me and to consider some of my own strengths and weaknesses before the next event of the year. It was on my heart — I needed to share the story of a baby who had been harmed by abortion.


Several years ago, a family member — my Great Aunt Leta Gerber — shared with me that she helped an OB/GYN perform an abortion at Munson Hospital in the years before Roe v. Wade. She shared about finding the body of a deceased baby boy in a hospital closet the next day — the result of this saline infusion abortion she helped carry out. I was told this story quite a while ago, and for some unknown reason, August of 2025 was the time I could not get the story off of my mind. I grabbed the phone and asked Leta, “Can I interview you? I think people should hear your story.” She agreed immediately even though she had never formally shared the story on a podcast before.


One minor problem. I didn’t have a podcast. I prayed about this. “God, I have this strong sense that you want this story to be told. But where am I supposed to share it? Am I really the right person to share it?”


I recalled one of the most embarrassing professional memories of my life. I was working for an anti-abortion organization. I had been asked to be in a professionally made video about pro-life activism alongside several other people. I drove over a hundred miles to the filming location, had my makeup done by a cosmetologist, and got all dressed up. When filming and production were complete, someone above me in the organization made a comment everyone in the corporation could view — “Cassidy is really coming off as awkward here.” I cringed. I had just watched the completed video and hadn’t thought that. The initial excitement I felt about this project began to evaporate as this comment percolated through my system.


I had just been humiliated in front of other staff. Cassidy is too awkward to be a part of this project was one person’s conclusion upon seeing me in this video I worked diligently on. I wanted to crawl into a cave and hide — also feeling betrayed by a person who was sharing non-constructive criticism of me in front of dozens of people.


I took a breath as the memory passed through my mind. I could allow this prior experience of group humiliation within the anti-abortion movement to stop me from sharing this preborn baby’s story and allow it to fade into oblivion, or I would have to share the story knowing other activists will perhaps see it and choose to make fun of me. Knowing some people “on your own side” will respond to your work in ways that do not reflect good faith intentions can be paralyzing. Last year in August, I wrestled with anxiety and felt uncertain about how to proceed.


I wrote in my journal:


“Lord Jesus, please go before me tomorrow. I will be filming Leta Gerber’s story on participating in an abortion. Please guide me in the conversation and help me by the power of your Holy Spirit. I pray for total peace. May I be at peace knowing that people from [an anti-abortion organization] may judge the work I produce tomorrow. May I work as unto you and not unto man” (8.17.25).


It was time to film the first-ever episode of the Embryo Advocates podcast.


I knew my resources were limited. I would be the interviewer, filmmaker, editor, marketer, and blogger on the project. It can be challenging to have to take on all the roles of a project, but if you’ve ever done advocacy in a dysfunctional group, you know it can be far easier to work independently. You’re really never the same after working somewhere the workplace culture is troubled. It can galvanize you to take risks and initiate an enormous amount of work that you tackle by yourself.


I also decided that I would avoid a common pitfall of modern pro-life activists. Advocates in this fight sometimes live as if the sun will only rise and fall if they make it happen. They put an enormous amount of pressure on themselves that is not from God. I decided right then and there that if I took on a new project — a new podcast — I was going to handle it in a balanced way. I absolutely would not set goals that would destroy my health or that were too extreme. So this podcast would have one new episode per month. Not a new episode every day — a killer goal for a person working independently. I would pursue balance and live with self-respect instead of modeling my behavior after other advocates who were chronically harried.


There are certain norms in some anti-abortion groups that lead to preventable health problems and mental illness. There is a way to do ministry work with balance — avoiding these dysfunctions. This can only happen if we remember that God is the One who holds the whole world in His hands — not us. We have to live with the knowledge that the Lord is the best advocate for the unborn — not us. It’s an incredible honor to be able to be a voice for the babies, but it’s crucial to remember that God does not need me. If I had never been born, God would still have ensured the work gets done in this world that He wants. He is not limited or bound by me. He is all-powerful. He chooses to use me, but the weight of the needs of this world does not rest on me, but on Him — my all-powerful Father in Heaven.


With these things in mind, the Embryo Advocates podcast was born.

Seeking Mental Healing for the Generations of Your Family

None of us choose the family tree we are born into. Each of us enters life extremely dependent upon our closest relatives — usually our parents. As we age, it’s normal to realize that every family has wounds, challenges, medical issues, and mental health sufferings of various kinds that have been experienced through the generations. We each get to decide as individuals if we want to pass down all of the family norms we have experienced so far in our lives, or if we seek to do things differently. In some families, particular kinds of woundedness can be carried for many generations. People usually don’t discuss these challenges because it can be very vulnerable. Some people consider it to be shameful to discuss the brokenness that exists — even though there isn’t a single family on the face of the earth that does not have at least some generational patterns that are unhealthy.


By my adolescence — nearing my senior year of high school — I developed new-onset severe depression. I felt alone and misunderstood as I waded through the deep waters of this sadness and darkness. Being a first-born girl, I have always been repulsed by asking for help — I’m highly independent, and I want to do things myself. But I eventually realized I would never get to the bottom of this struggle unless I brought others into what I was going through. God brought the most incredible Christian mental health therapist into my life. I slowly realized as I met with her that my depression wasn’t isolated only to me — I looked closer at my family tree and the struggles experienced through the generations.


An extended family member piqued my interest. He, of course, had different parents than me and had a different childhood than I had. But we both had depression. He was very open about it. In spite of being a hard-working professional — regularly carrying out the duties of a full-time job — and raising children with his wife, he suffered from extreme mental lows. For years, he had chronic suicidal ideation. He did not act on this ideation, saying that the only reason he would not was because he knew it was wrong in God’s eyes. But his suffering was so great that death genuinely felt ideal at the time.


I asked him more questions. It’s common when you experience depression to feel profound worthlessness — a feeling that plagued me in my adolescence. Did he feel that way too? If so, what did he believe caused it? Our conversation led us next to discussing certain parenting strategies that imply to children that they are not worth the time of their parents, even if the parent does not intend to communicate that. Childhood is such a significant time for the developing mind. Children are not so resilient that any random thing can be done to them without consequence. Our culture loves to emphasize, "Kids will get through this; they’re fine.” But what if they’re not? What if some parenting norms in society lay a foundation for a lifetime of mental suffering, particularly when that child has a genetic predisposition to depression?


Every generation — not only of a family, but also of a society — has norms that are good and norms that are bad. It takes serious discernment on the part of parents to be able to see through parenting fads of the day and consider if something being normal means it will also set their child up for success and mental health in their life. My extended family member talked about the cultural norms his parents faced many years ago. It was normal not to be warm, not to physically express any affection, and to tell children to be quiet.


Kids can be forced into silence. But it doesn’t mean they are ok just because they are not expressing a problem. Mental health professionals have found that, in some cases, a child may be mentally healthier if they are more demonstrative. It’s not an introvert versus extrovert problem — rather, this is an issue of psychological safety for every child. Do kids feel safe to be themselves? Do they feel that they can raise an issue without a parent retaliating against them? Or is there pressure to be fake and perform as though all is well when everything is actually going up in flames?


As I thought about the hurts my family has faced, I paused and asked for God’s intervention. “Lord Jesus, please enter into the generations of my family through me. May generational curses be broken by the powerful work of your Holy Spirit in and through my life” (10.7.25).


One tool I used to begin understanding my family through the generations was “A Family Genogram Workbook.” This guide provides ways to grow in insight and understanding about our families and the patterns that get passed on through the generations.

“There is no greater shaping influence on our lives than the families that raised us. Families influence and establish patterns of behavior that we are not even aware of. In fact, we rarely realize that these patterns are passed on from generation to generation. Families teach us how to function in society and how to relate to others. From our families we learn how to be a friend, a lover, a spouse, a parent, and a worker; how we approach spirituality, faith and religion; how we go about problem solving and whether we are more likely to project positive or negative attitudes. Our family of origin influences everything from language to mannerisms. This is obvious by the very different ways particular families interact. One family may have a largely non-verbal, non-confrontational way of interacting. Meanwhile, its neighbors may have a very loud and provocative style. When individuals from these two different families meet, it is likely that their patterns of interactions will make for awkward moments if not misunderstandings or difficulties. While these family influences do not dictate exactly what we will become in a deterministic sense, they do supply us with most of the raw material that we must work with” (1).

In a culture deeply impacted by feminism and Communism, we tend to greatly discount the impact of family life. But as the quote above illustrates, our families play such an important role in our development. The more we devalue the family, the more we lose our capacity for insight about ourselves, others, our behavior, and our relationships.


One of the most incredible books I read this year was “Something Wicked: Why Feminism Can’t Be Fused With Christianity” by Dr. Carrie Gress (2). This powerful expose of feminism goes to lengths of explanation on why our current culture sees family affairs as unimportant compared to personal endeavors. We have stunted our societal consciousness of the formative power of mothers, fathers, and siblings on one another through the generations. When we make the brave choice to open our eyes to the impact of our private lives with our family of origin in our childhoods, we can, alas, gain the awareness that must be present in us before we are able to make concrete changes out of generationally repeated patterns of woundedness and into wholeness and healing in Christ Himself. God is such a loving and powerful healer and He cares about every wound and every form of brokenness the generations of our families have faced. He can change the things that feel impossible to transform.


That extended family member I mentioned to you? Well, God decided to show His powerful ability to heal in his life. Although he had been plagued by depression for more years than he could count, my extended family member experienced God’s miraculous healing of his depression. This wasn’t a “showy” sort of healing that happened at some kind of magic healer show. Rather, after praying for years, and years, and years, my extended family member came to a day when his depression lifted. He hadn’t done anything new or out of the ordinary — just one day, God answered his prayer to be free from the weight of suicidal ideation and depression. There was healing from the pain that was inflicted on him in his childhood.


I love this story from my extended family member because it is such a powerful reminder that God is always at work in our lives even when we can’t see it. God hears our prayers to Him for healing for ourselves and our families. We may not receive as drastic of an answer as my extended family member did — feeling completely set free from depression — but we can have confidence that we have the kind of Father in heaven who always hears us and who cares about our wounds more than we do.


I’m thankful to follow a God who is a miracle worker, healer, and a perfect Father to us. The existence of family on earth is a reminder of a heavenly reality — for those who believe in Christ, we are all members of the family of God. And one day we will all be together in heaven with our perfect Father who delights to be with his children. Every family on earth experiences brokenness and wounds of various kinds, but in heaven we will experience family in its fullness and wholeness — unmarred by sin or a fallen world. So if we don’t have healing in our families today, we can always have hope as we look on to eternity, knowing we serve a God who will one day make all things right.

God Is In Control

When you face seasons of life that are uncertain, how do you handle it? I think one of the greatest benefits of facing the unknown in our lives is that it reminds us we are not in control. God is the One who set the solar system into motion and invented each of us as individuals. Every time I face a time of life where the next steps are unclear, God meets me and reminds me of His sovereign control over all things and that He is the vast and extraordinary Creator. It’s not easy to be uncertain about what lies ahead — when each of us face those moments — but when we can’t see the full picture, it causes us to turn to God and seek Him for guidance. In November 2025, I took some time to meditate on the fact that the Lord reigns over every circumstance of my life.


I penned these verses and this quote into my light blue journal —


“...You, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love” (Psalm 59:17c).


“O my strength, I will watch for you, for you, O God, are my fortress” (Psalm 59:9).


“You have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress” (Psalm 59:16b).


“It shall happen as God shall choose, for assuredly we depend not on our own power, but on the power of God” (Perpetua of Carthage).


I think one of God’s purposes in the suffering we face in this life is to take our eyes off this world which is passing away and to lift our eyes onto Him and eternity. I pray for those who read this blog that when you encounter challenges of numerous kinds that you may draw near to God, knowing He will draw near to you as you seek Him (see James 4:8). The hardships and heartaches we face can serve as a turning point for revival and renewed closeness with God.

Private Virtue and Bold Confessing

Have you ever met someone hypocritical before? A person who talks on and on about virtue or goodness but fails to actually live out anything they profess? These people can be extremely repulsive to interact with because their life is a massive paradox to their message. All of us have the capacity to be hypocritical. There is something about the day and age we live in that may actually make us more prone to disingenuousness. The social media era encourages us to engage in virtue signaling — to kiss up to the right people and “right” ideas.


A real relationship with God will never lead you to kiss up to people in power. Kissing up is a form of manipulation — love bombing people who have something you want, to try to get them to respond in the way you want them to. Some workplaces, churches, or friend groups encourage kissing up — this can destroy your capacity to build character. When we only focus on not offending a person we perceive to be at the top of a given social hierarchy and do not actually regard God and eternal truth, the Lord will eventually hold us accountable for that hypocrisy.


God always knows our hearts and if we are genuinely seeking Him or not. He searches out our motivations.


“The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually…It grieved [God] to His heart” (Genesis 6:5,6b).


In December 2025, as I was reading this passage, a study Bible note caught my attention.


“Sin is a disease that pervades and runs through every part of our moral constitution and every faculty of our minds. The understanding, the affections, the reasoning powers, the will, are all more or less infected. Even the conscience is so blinded that it cannot be depended on as a sure guide, and is as likely to lead men wrong as right, unless it is enlightened by the Holy Ghost. The disease may be veiled under a thin covering of courtesy, politeness, good manners, and outward decorum; but it lies deep down in the constitution” (J.C. Ryle [3]).


Our deepest motives matter to God, and He sees them. Nothing in our hearts lies outside the Lord’s ability to notice.


Martin Luther examined this passage in Genesis about Noah and concluded that he was an excellent example of a man who truly regarded God.


“Noah was not simply just holy for himself, but he was also a confessor; he taught others the promises and threats of God, and performed and suffered all that behoves a public personage in an age so exceedingly wicked and corrupt” (3).


Real Christian faith transforms people to have both private virtue and to become bold confessors of eternal truth. But both must exist. If a person professes Christianity and says all the Christian talking points, but their life speaks the opposite message, it’s a bad sign — the fruit of the Spirit isn’t there in the person’s private life, so the likelihood that the faith is genuine is very low. On the other hand, a person might truly have the Spirit of God dwelling in them — building private virtue day by day as they read Scripture and are sanctified in life. But if this person lacks the willingness to share eternal truths that may be unpopular in the given era they are living in, God will hold them accountable for failing to speak His truth.


As it has been so wisely said by Erwin Lutzer, “The truth hurts, but the truth heals.” Our culture is very damaged by sin and separation from God; therefore, sharing eternal truths and the Gospel may come across as offensive. It’s not unlike a doctor telling their patient to stop doing drugs — withdrawal from the bad substances is going to hurt, but the alternative is to die from addiction-related complications. Our modern society is like that. We need “medication” from the Holy Spirit to heal our ailments which sin has caused. Jesus is the medicine, but His truth is unpopular in the postmodern era. The medicine doesn’t taste good in a society craving sin. But as the Holy Spirit brings conviction and changes hearts of stone into hearts of flesh (like it says in Ezekiel 36:26), sinners are transformed into saints.


How’s it going in your own life? Are you becoming both a person of private virtue and a bold confessor? God wants us to be like Noah — to live for Him and speak the truth even when the culture around us may reject us as a result. Broken societies can change when they receive the Gospel and are revived, but it often takes a lot of small but faithful Christians, sharing God’s truth when it’s not well received, before the fruit is born.


“He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him” (Psalm 126:6).

Your Convictions Are Only As Real As They Are When Tested

Earlier in this post, we discussed my Great Aunt Leta Gerber, who was pressured into assisting with an abortion when she was a young nurse at Munson Hospital in Michigan. Her story has left a profound impact on me. The truth is, the field of health care is powerful, and it does present many of us with moments we may have to consider the ethics of something that is happening. There are things that we may in theory have the power to do to the human body. Just because we could do something to the human body does not mean that we should do it. This is the whole idea of bioethics.


As I considered Great Aunt Leta’s story of helping to perform an abortion then regretting it for the rest of her life, God allowed me to also encounter a situation where I was asked to participate in an act that did not align with my religious views at work. I felt a lump in my throat. Fear rose in me. What should I do? Immediately, I knew, with the conviction of the Holy Spirit, I would have to decline to participate.


This became a multi-month-long situation where I had to wrestle against fear and do the best I could to live with full integrity — not participating in things that are not aligned with my faith.


I had just met an amazing person who is an expert in federal law as it applies to the conscience rights of medical workers. Must have been God’s timing that I met her mere days before I encountered a situation that would try my faith. Did you know that there is a department of the federal government that exists to protect the consciences of medical workers? The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has a Conscience and Religious Freedom department.


According to federal law, it is considered religious discrimination against an employee to fail to make reasonable accommodation when they request an exemption from participating in abortion, elective sterilization, or physician-assisted suicide. Most medical workers do not know that federal laws exist to protect them from participating in things that go against their faith. I wish my Great Aunt Leta had known about these federal laws that would have protected her that day long ago when an OB/GYN asked for her help performing an abortion on a hospital Labor and Delivery Unit at Munson Hospital. She was not obligated to participate, but these conscience rights were not well known then.


If you are a medical worker, may you have Scripture-informed convictions that guide you in the care you provide for your patients. May loving God change the way you care for your vulnerable patients, and may it make you protect them and help them even more robustly than ever before.


When things worked out despite the uncertainty of not knowing if I would be accommodated, I grabbed my journal and reflected —


“Holy Spirit, this was all you.”


That still, small voice guiding you to make sure your actions honor God is from the Holy Spirit. The more we yield ourselves to God, the more we can clearly discern His guidance in the challenging situations all of us face in our lives. May you have experiences like this in your life too, where you can look back and have no human explanation possible at all. May you say that same phrase, “Holy Spirit, this was all you!”

What Causes Women to Attack Other Women? An Examination of the Impact of Feminism on the Female Tendency to Scapegoat

As I mentioned earlier in this post, the book “Something Wicked” by Dr. Carrie Gress is one of the most impactful books I have ever read. I just finished reading it this month. It provided a lot of context on some less-than-great professional experiences I’ve had in my life. For whatever reason, I have had very few problems with the men I have worked with in professional contexts, but have at times experienced backbiting and jealous behaviors from other women in the workplace. I’ve spent a lot of time considering these interactions and what motivates women — especially those who profess to be Christians — to be harmful to other females at work. The book “Something Wicked,” I believe, provides part of the insight I was searching for.


The cultural message around feminism is that it exists to empower women. Interestingly, though, the women who most tout feminist talking points tend to also be the most insecure and the most likely to feel threatened by females around them at work.


I considered how I have seen this play out in unhealthy groups of women.


Women who challenge other women are not welcome. Only females who disingenuously kiss up to women in power are accepted. Genuine intellectual curiosity is punished while shallow misunderstandings of harmful ideologies (such as feminism) are touted as a battle cry. In these environments, women are praised for superficiality and materialism, while intellectual rigor and depth are counted worse than being infected with a deadly case of Ebola.


It is not a loss to be ousted by other women who engage in backbiting, fake niceness, and performative behavior. In case no one ever told you, you deserve better. Do not settle for friend groups, relationships, or workplaces that scapegoat the truth speaker and ignore real problems.



If you want fulfilling and meaningful relationships, you have to never settle for being around women who willingly choose superficiality over developing their minds the way God wants them to. God doesn’t want us to stay “as infants” (see Hebrews 5). He is a good Father who wants his kids to eventually mature. Part of maturing means regulating your emotions enough not to lash out at other people when you feel dysregulated. Part of maturing means we become uncomfortable with not completely understanding something important, instead of assuming if someone else also adopted this ideology then it must be true.


To truly know God changes women from the ugliness that feminism can create in us — He causes us to say goodbye to the chronic victimhood, rage, aggression, blaming, and devaluation of children and family. Letting go of feminism and embracing a Scripture-based form of Christianity causes women to be people of accountability for their own wrongdoing (we all mess things up sometimes, and this is best handled by owning it), and the Holy Spirit drives out the fruit of the flesh and causes us to be marked by the fruit of the Spirit instead. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control — these are the opposite of what feminism wants women to develop.


Meekness looks like weakness to a movement focused on power and control. But genuine Christians who have a real walk with God know that human beings who chase power and control are chasing the wind — God is the One who holds all the power and all the control, and He is trustworthy in the way He plans and directs everything. When we think we “take back control” in a spirit of feminism, we may cause some damage — hurting ourselves and others — but, at the end of the day, God is still the One in control. If you want a significant and fulfilling life, that is found by yielding your will to the God who created all things and holds sway over it all — not by trying to grab power.


Heading into my late twenties — year twenty-seven of my life — I am so grateful for the people like Dr. Carrie Gress and others who have had the courage to speak the truth to women. Seeing ourselves as oppressed victims does not equip us to live a meaningful Christian life. If we truly want to make a mark on this world for God, we have to be set free from the vices of feminism such as rage, blaming, scapegoating, and coddling ourselves. It’s time to be the adult women that we are — it’s time for responsibility and growth in selflessness instead of chronically enabling our own self-indulgence that feels good in the moment, but prevents us from engaging in eternally meaningful work and relationships in the long-term forward movement of our lives.


Growth as a Christian requires that I increase in discernment. True Christian discernment detects the deception in worldly movements like feminism — an ideology that makes enormous promises that never materialize while leaving women alone, isolated, and ultimately miserable. Christianity is profoundly anti-feminist, and Christian feminism does not exist as a real ideology. This is not because our faith is anti-woman. When we examine history, the greatest good for women has never been accomplished by feminism, but by Christianity itself. If we want our world to gain a better anthropology for the worth of women, we must share with them Christianity, not deceptive and empty feminism.


So, in year twenty-seven, being that I’m currently unmarried and childless, you will find me still developing myself professionally full-time, and as I engage in those endeavors almost daily, feminism is not what made my growth possible. Instead, it is the Holy Spirit Himself who meets me — God created me Himself. I was His original idea (all of us are!). The best personal and professional development I can engage in is driven by the guidance of Jesus Himself, who sees the whole picture of His purposes for me in light of eternity.


As it’s been said by Sheologians, “Feminism won’t save you,” but Jesus will. And that extraordinary hope has changed every day of my life. That the Savior of the world is such a powerful and loving Father to me that He is constantly providing, tending to me, and meeting my needs. I can walk into year twenty-seven with confidence that my Creator sees every aspect of who I am and is committed to guiding me with His love.


Whatever you’re facing in your own life today, I pray that the Lord meets you with His life-changing compassion and power. May He show you His love and lead you to the foot of the cross. After all, He is the sort of God who has this absolutely incredible kindness that not only shows us grace, but also leads us to repentance. May your life bear fruit that matters not only in the here and now, but for all eternity.


“In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” (Roman 8:37b).


“Or do you presume on the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?” (Romans 2:4).


“You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?” (Matthew 7:16).

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Works Cited

1 Galindo, Boomer, et al. “A Family Genogram Workbook.” Educational Consultants. 2016. [One note on this particular resource. There are many wonderful things about it! However, I do disagree with their promotion of the use of the enneagram, as this has been shown to have spiritually dark roots. I hope that maybe you’ll use this workbook to help you discern the norms of your family, but I do advise steering clear of the enneagram and, of course, trying this resource as any other, to the Word of God].

2 Gress, Carrie. "Something Wicked: Why Feminism Can't Be Fused With Christianity." Sophia Institute Press. 2026.

3 Nicols, Mathison, et al. “ESV Church History Study Bible.” Crossway. 2022. p.12.